I have a daughter who is18 disrespectful and violent towards me, and her father who wont back me up when she i?

My daughter belittles me, calls me fat, ugly, lazy, pushes me, threatens to beat me up, yells, slams the bedroom door on my face. Her cousin who is under age came over tonight and my daughter told me they were going with a military guy to go out to drink and would not be home all night. I told her they needed to be home no later than 1 am which gave them 4 hours. As soon as the military guy came over, I gave him my phone number and got his phone number, took down his license plate number and told him I need the girls back by 1am. I told him if they were all drinking and couldn't drive to call me and I would pick the girls up myself. He said, he would. He said he would call when they arrived at his home & he didn't call. I received a phone call from her cousins grandma & she was saying that she told Candy that she had to abide by my rules. She did not want her granddaughter staying out all night. My daughter, apparently called her dad and her dad invited them to come over to drink at his house. Unfortunatly, her dad had just moved so I didn't have his address. I asked him form the address, he woudn't give it to me. I tried to explain how Kayla had treated me and that he was undermining everything I was telling the girls. I told him that I had told Bob, the guy that took the girls that he needed to have them back by 1am or I would call the police. I just seem like a screamy me-me to everyone and seem to have no respect from anyone. Her dad has only been in her life since she was 12 and he has been in and out of our lives. I am disgusted and have been a single mom all my daughters life. I also have a younger son who see's all this craziness and is starting to talk back like his sister. Please help, any advise is welcome. Thank you.