Could you give some advice on my first poem?

It actually seems like it should be two poems to me, the home home again, is a different poem. I would work on the first one more and try to make the rhythm a little more of a steady moving beat. Other than that, I like the imagery and concept, it is an excellent one to start with...I know putting your first poem out there to the public is a very vulnerable place to be and I applaud your efforts and courage in asking for constructive criticism. I hope you take mine with the attitude of it being in a spirit of mutual kindness...keep on writing.